For over a month now, I don’t think I’ve drawn more than a single line. And really, for at least a couple months before that I was running on fumes (the last scene of Brightest really feels like it fell below my quality bar, honestly). 

During this last month, the realization that my creative spark/drive/muse/what-have-you has gone and shrivelled up and died somewhere, and I don’t know where it’s gone. 

There are a variety of factors, I’m sure - lack of sleep with a baby that sleeps three hours in a row overnight if we’re lucky, stressful job bleeding into my out-of-office life, never getting a moment during the day to think about projects/creativity, and more I’m probably not aware of. All of which keeps leading up to me having zero energy by the end of the night.

I end up just playing games instead, so I can relax before bed. I’m enjoying this immensely as there’s a tonne of games to play right now. 

When I try to get some drawing or writing done, I end up just sitting at the computer, doing nothing. There’s just nothing there for me to want to draw from or spend time on. I keep hoping it’ll pass, but I’m also starting to worry that I hit a wall and I don’t know how to recover from it. 

I’ve been floating Brightest as long as I can this year as best as I can, but I’ve been doing worse and worse at it through the Fall until it just ground to a halt in November. I’d like to be able to say I’ve got great ideas and plans on how to get back on top of all this, but I honestly haven’t got a clue. 

The plan was to spend December and some of November getting back on top of Brightest’s buffer and get a scene fully banked, but that clearly didn’t happen. I really don’t have any thesis to this, but I felt like I should write about the problem - get some of it out on ‘paper’, as it were.

Maybe that’ll help, or at least get the ball rolling.